Virgo (virgo186) wrote,

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Entry 330

Posting out of boredom due to being caught up in this class. Considering I have ample time, this is gonna be one long entry, so sit tight and relax. ^^;

OPT's final meeting of the year will be next Thursday, and as a treat, Liz is planning to take us to Blackbeards. ^^; See, this is exciting because my brothers advocate going there, saying all the reasons why they go and stuff. Should be fun, really.

Our new washer at home is really nice. It has a lot of space inside but doesn't look very big. At least it gets the job done, and our old washer is out at the curb waiting to be taken away.

I never knew a certain Josh Wilson had an LJ. Oh well, now he's on my friends list, so welcome to you, man. ^^;

I'm beginning to get suspicious of some of my guy friends. A couple of them have confessed that they want to be my boyfriend, and I turned them down 'cause I'm really not up for the dating/love thing right now. And really, Matt's even starting to scare me, he's gotten real...genial toward me. Of course, it might be the mutual distrust of Jessie under Steph's control, but...

Personally, I've gotten sick of the group anyway. They can go ahead and be elitist, I don't care anymore. All I want is my boxset back (and supposedly, she'll return it soon) and then I'll sever all ties completely. I'm not even sure why I still have them on my friends list, really.

The reason I moved away (to the cafeteria with Megan and Tim, Matt followed) was because I was sick of getting attitude every morning. I hated being in that spot because it reminded me of what was happening. Besides, I think you all are happy to be away from Megan (at least Carrie is).

Maybe if the weather's nice this weekend, we can go to a park...not the waterfront one, but the one by the pool, the one we got dropped off at, the one we walked from.

I'm beginning to wonder just where to go from here. I hate to offend anyone (that matters) but I just need to get this out. I'm sure you're all sick of it, but still, I just need to rant a bit. Bear with me, k?

I'm sick of all of this. I thought friendships were supposed to be trusting and solid, that friends were supposed to be able to get along and like each other for who they are. Apparently not; they don't seem to care who I am, they tried to change me. Friends can deal.

Friends do not say, openly, tears or no, that they are "embarrassed to be seen with you." No way.

Hence why I declared Steph not my friend afterwards. Friends do not say stuff like that. It's hurtful.

If I want to change, I'll change myself because I want to, and they can go eat dirt. I'll better myself on my own.

They aren't making themselves better by pulling stuff like this. By following Steph, the girls are just making people hate them more. Steph is a bad influence.

I almost fell into her trap once. I won't fall for it again. Not now, not ever. I'm wise to her tricks now.

As mom puts it, she makes friends with people who are worse off than she is, just to make herself look better. She told me this once, in fact: she explained that she made "friends with the friendless". Mom says that the reason she's opposed to be is because I won't fall for her tricks. She wants somebody who will be a mindless flunky for her.

Mom says that some people are just like that.

Basically, I hate seeing people who could be awesome and independent become lame and boring and pathetic. Jessie had an independence long ago....and now, she seems to have become a brainless slave to Steph. They chatter all the time, hold hands in the hallway...even Carrie doesn't get to be that close. Go figure; number one lackey, perhaps?

She treats her lackeys well, then....sometimes.

They don't see she's using them.

But anyway, if any of them read this, oh well. You don't have to read it, nobody has a gun to your head or anything. You're the ones who added me to your lists. You can deal.

Try bettering yourselves, now.

Expect more from me later, seriously.

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