Virgo (virgo186) wrote,

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Entry 531 - Inspirational Dreams

...the subject line is what I'd like to have, instead of dreams on crack. I blame the meds.

Not much has gone on since last post (which was...weeks ago, wow). The planning board meeting was decent, big turnout from the neighborhood, and the board did their walkabout earlier this week. Another board meeting will be Tuesday--we plan on attending this one, too. After all, this is important.

I've found that somedays, I feel like walking. I don't usually have a target location to aim for--I let my legs lead me. Twice now, I've wound up on the other side of town, with my tribemates. Of course, this isn't all bad, but still, maybe I secretly am aiming for that.

After all, any chance to get out of the house and hang out with my local pals? I'll jump on it. :)

Stress levels here are elevated--gas prices are up, oil prices are up, and we're all pretty bummed about things. After all, we have things we should do--have to do--and some we just can't. The cars still need gas here and there, and prices are going up. I make the money to help contribute, and I feel like I should hold off on buying anything I really want so we can have extra money to throw at bills and such. Mom says I shouldn't worry about it so much, but I do. I can't help it.

I haven't been able to focus on writing for a while now. I come up with ideas, but can't seem to get them out into print. Instead, I've been doing a lot of reading and talking and thinking. A lot of the time, though, I talk to myself--I know I can't annoy anyone that way.

Still no sign of Raine's car plates, but she has new little decorations and such. She's happy with the car, and the car still runs well for her. Plus, it means the tribe has a set of wheels so we can go places. I heard she and Lynn are making a road trip soon--it's good Raine has the car to do that.

Part of me doubts, though, that the summer plans we thought of will actually happen. After all, Raine has two jobs, two bands to practice and perform with, family members to visit and do things with...Lynn has her job corp duties and all, and me...

Well, I'm never a problem, really. Sometimes I have too much free time.

As much as I like having a journal to write things in, I'm never quite sure what to put in this anymore. Sometimes I think I bore myself with problems, or something. I know I should be writing this for myself, but I know I have people who read this on a regular basis and they like keeping up to date on what I've been doing.

Most of the time, though, it winds up being what others have done, what's happened around me that I've had little to do with. I talk about stories if I get inspired for them, or how we've gotten Raine further in her game (she finally gets to play with dorky skyrider, he's making himself useful) or how Lynn is practicing her driving (she has her permit, after all).

It makes me feel very boring.

I want to think that I'm just in a low point, but then I remember that my medicine came with warnings about how it might spark depression or something, and I worry. The walking helps--I can focus on just getting around instead of being inside, and it distracts me because I'm doing something useful.

I just can't help feeling, though, that something is missing.

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