Virgo (virgo186) wrote,
Virgo
virgo186

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Entry 428 - Musings on Friendship

First of all: this song is so addictive. Endless repeat, anyone? :)

Okay, now for the real entry. I think I have a problem with friendship and the concept of such. After all, I've been around for 19 years (20 next month!) and I've gone through a lot of people I consider(ed) friends. Is that bad, or is it just me overthinking things?

Maybe I have bad luck with them (after all, remember I once was friends with Steph) or I just can't keep up with them or something. Maybe I have outgrown people.

I never get phone calls anymore, but then, who would call me?

It seems if I'm not working, I'm sleeping. Or on the computer. Or trying to do something outside alone. Nobody's really home in the area anymore, it seems.

Shopping by myself gets lonely. Even the mall isn't much fun alone.

I long to go out to lunch with friends, but then...the one friend I want to see most doesn't have a phone or anything and hasn't tried to contact me in a week or so. It's frustrating.

So I try to throw myself into work. Or writing. Or just sleeping the day away or something. Anything.

I've been listening to music a lot more. I guess it helps relax me, and it's an alternate soundtrack when I'm playing games or something. (Honestly, TM Revolution songs while playing Space Invaders? Therapy.)

So yeah, call it a low moment, say I'm being emo, tease me about being a coward, whichever. Go ahead.

I consider it practice for writing. After all, nothing better than being able to understand a character, right?

...I think I know how Athrun feels now. Emo sucks.

*listens to song on endless repeat* Did I mention this song is awesome? And addictive? :)

~Virgo
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